Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Starting Over

Well- I left my acting company of five years last week. And I feel like a new kitten. I have a whole new life waiting....right???Right???? It is the scariest thing I have ever done, to feel like I am starting over-at almost 36. After working with the same people for five years. I know I need to- to move on emotionally and creatively. And financially. The reality is-I couldn't afford to stay with my company. I am recovering from a series of unfortunate events, which is what I call being hit by a car and being whacked on the head at a waitressing job. I recovered.....enough. Enough to get back to the life I love. The world of art. The world of creativity. The world I was terrified I was never going to have again. The world I remember sitting in a doctor's office and being told that she "just didn't see how I would ever have the short-term memory" to be a professional actress. But that it didn't matter. Because I didn't have the cognition to be a waitresss either. And how could anyone in Workman's Comp understand Development deals when my own father aka lawyer didn't? And -it's hard to believe.....but at 36- I am feeling a peace and contentment with my life that I did not have at 25, which is supposed to be the height of a woman's youth and beauty and an actress's apex. It is my truth that while I may not be as young as I was- I know what I have to offer now....and I have scheduled my new headshots. Cause People. I'm going in!