I disappeared....

well....the holidays are on me.... and I am looking around me in a haze of exhaustion. I am really proud of myself for "persevering"BUT...in all honesty? Time to make a change. I am not happy. I am the fearless girl. And I look around-and the stress of a job I don't feel happy at that was meant to help me recover? No dice. I have one life to live...and my sister is settling down and it makes me wonder if my life will-and my father doesn't realize that his life is not my life-and I wouldn't want his anyway. I want mine back. I want to get married-but... I want to be as whole as possible first. And I deserve that as much as the man who wins me. Now-I am off to formulate .....