Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Today Could Have Been Better

I am still rootless, pulling along my little suitcase. I am in nice places, true, but they are not mine.And I feel that.I feel that acutely. I am feeling like a nomad-which is funny-I am not really nomadic, but this feels a lot like my early twenties, when I was sleeping everywhere. I had jobs all over, was acting, commuting from Long Island...there is a crucial difference though. My family was here. My mother, my father, everyone.My twin.My younger sister.'s just me. My twin-who was my roommate is settled with my old friend. My dad has his girlfriend, and my younger sister is married. That leaves me. My friends have always been my chosen family, but i really don't remember being this alone. And I wish that I had family to depend on. But the fact is-I don't. Rebuilding my life will include all new people. I am using this as an opportunity to get rid of everything that doesn't make me happy. Minimalism. While I wish I had a normal family, one that got together on holidays, and wished each other happy birthday, and celebrated.I don't. And I am glad I am self reliant.I just wish the price wasn't so high.