Sunday, January 15, 2012

Independence

I like to think I'm independent. This is something I value, something I treasure. One of the perks of being an adult. I remember being a child, and simply vowing I would do whatever I wanted. As I grew up, I realized, perhaps, Independence is different than doing whatever I wanted. I remember, in my very early twenties, perhaps even my late teens-I held a check from my first catering company, Glorious Food. This check was probably the first money I'd ever held. I was a relatively spoiled girl, but things were given to me. Not money. But as I held this check-which even today is enough-I realized, I am able to be on my own. Escape my house. Be who I wanted to be-which happened to be an actress. I was out with a Spanish man who had two daughters the other day-gorgeous little girls, three and seven. I laughed and told him I was from a family of girls. We were talking politics, and he was trying to figure out if he was Republican. Somehow-I realized he was Catholic. He knew I was Irish, but was so surprised when I told him I was actually Episcopalian. So-I told him the story. My mother had very definite ideas about raising girls. Being Catholic was not part of her plan-because she felt Cartholicism was a very hard religion on women and girls. She made a point of discussing it with me in depth, at 7?. It still has an effect on me-my sprituality, my sense of self. She eventually chose a beautiful Episcopalian Church in Rhinebeck. Father Gerry and his wife were an ex priest and nun, who fell in love and left teir respective orders to marry. Around the same time, I got kicked out of second grade. Apparently-I was staging non-violent protests against my teacher because all the other straight A's were hung on the special wall. Mine weren't. After a conversation with the teacher, my mother determined that the teacher favored the boys, didn't call on the girls who did raise their hands. I still remember my mom pushing my desk down the hall to my new classroom, where I loved the teacher and made my first best friend.(After Meg.) So-you see-since I never felt less than because I was a girl, I felt like there were no limits. I am so glad I ignored the idea that I'm a girl who can't. I am once again independent-and that is the best feeling ever. Ever.

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