Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Anyone else ever lose their blog?

Hi. I'm back. And everything is going as well as can be expected-except for a couple of hiccups. I lost my blog. Well-Not really-But, I could not figure out how to log in because enough time has passed that, well , I forgot. At least I can laugh now. I consider that progress. I turned 36. And I have been focused on rest and recuperation-for the first time since I got hurt 5 years ago. I decided that,dammit, -I am going to get well. And I really feel a difference. And-drumroll , please, I am consciously allowing myself to look silly by asking questions. Why?Why?Why? Because I need the brain to work. And I have come to realize people are going to understand or not. And I am going to have to deal. And for someone as driven as myself-this is haaaaaaaard. I resent not being able to run the 12 miles I did in field hockey. I resent not being able to keep up the dancing I need to for a show that I could do. I resent not being able to WAITRESS. I LOVED waitressing. I hate being forced to give up any aspect of my life because I am not able to. It's demoralizing.And correcting myself-well-it's EMBARRASSING. Do I really want other people seeing my mistakes? No. But I need to do it in order to correct. Sigh. Still onward.

1 comment:

  1. I can totally relate Jess. It is hard to face that you are no longer able to do things that you took for granted or that you thought were part of your persona. It is also hard when the relationship you have with other people change because you have changed and are not the same as you were. Things needs to be rewritten and adjusted as you and everyone around you come to grips with that you are now different from what you used to be.

    Best, Victoria